


If only Things Went Differently

by Redhoodshood



Category: Batman (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: Fanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 12:32:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16892676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redhoodshood/pseuds/Redhoodshood
Summary: A four-part series of the emotions and reactions of Jason Todds Death. Featuring Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Alfred Pennyworth and Bruce Wayne.





	1. Maybe...

Maybe it was the ticking of the Bomb ticking down to the final seconds to his death. Maybe it was the soft thump of his heartbeat in his ears. Maybe it was the harsh painful wounds in his body as he Bled out. Maybe it was the recurring mental image of the crowbar hitting his body or maybe it was the hysterical laughing of the Joker.

Jason didn’t want to fight anymore, he was tired and knew he was dying. He tried believing Bruce would be here to save him that maybe he was coming to get him. He couldn’t bring himself to believe it anymore, he couldn’t bring himself to fight for life, he knew it was over.

His light blue eyes stared up at the ceiling, bloodshot from screaming and crying. Some part of him wanted to get up and move to somehow make it out of the warehouse and to Bruce but the other part of him told him to stay because he was already a failure. He had failed his mother, Alfred, Dick and especially Bruce. Worse of all he failed at being a robin.

His eyes clenched shut at the thoughts. He wanted nothing more than to wake up from this nightmare and be comforted by Alfred, to go down into the cave and crack jokes at bad guys and with Bruce but that was no longer an option.

His eyes opened at the sound of the warehouse door being opened. “Bye bye bird boy,” he heard the sickening voice of his soon to be murderer laugh out right before the door slammed closed.

He could picture and feel the crowbar bashing against his body cracking and tearing it apart. It was getting harder to breathe with each breath he took but he could still hear the soft thumping of his heart along with the ticking of the bomb.

He shifted slightly, raising his head up sending a searing pain up and down his body causing him to bite hard on his already bleeding lip. He could taste the blood in his mouth but he paid no mind to it as his eyes shifted slightly to the red numbers, the bomb only had seven seconds left before it detonated.

He laid back down, a small pool of salty tears gathered in his eyes. He still couldn’t bring himself to try to fight to get out, he knew what was going to happen. He was going to die here all alone.

Six

The ticking only seemed to grow louder as his end neared.

Five

It wasn’t fair, he only wanted to help people. He only wanted to find his mother and be with her but the joker had beaten her too and it was his fault.

Four

The tears finally slipped out of his eyes and down the sides of his face into his ears and hair.

Three

The only person he wanted to see right now was Bruce but he knew it was too late for that. It was foolish now to fight, he couldn’t make it out of here now. It was too late.

Two

He closed his eyes taking one final deep breath his heartbeat slowly fading. A small smile found its way into his face thinking of all the good times he had in his life, especially the first time he had met the batman. If only he could see Bruce once more.

One

The final tick of the bomb sounded before heat engulfed his body in fire, burning his skin. The blast made the building crumble burying his small mangled body under the debris. This was the end of Jason Todd, the end of the second Robin and he was all alone.

Maybe if Bruce was just a little sooner than maybe Jason would have been saved.

Just maybe.


	2. Maybe...Just Maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce is trying to make it to Jason before something bad happens to him. When he gets to the warehouse it’s too late though.

He was running. His feet pounded against the sand his dark outfit so out of place compared to the sand and daylight. It wasn’t usual for the batman to be out in the day, or out in the desert for that matter.

Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.

The sound of Buces boots hitting the sand as he ran. He was running out of time and he could feel it. He didn’t care if he was loud. A deep urgency and fear bubbles in the pit of his stomach making him feel as if he was going to puke. His heart felt as if it was beating out of his chest, he had to go faster.

Please, please, please!

He pleaded in his head. He needs to get there in time. Every breath he took felt as if it was suffocating him. His lungs constricted as dread filled them. He had to get there in time he just had too.

As he ran he saw the joker driving away in a car, he wanted to go after him but he needed to get to Jason. He was minutes away from the warehouse. He needed to make sure Jason was safe. Tears gathered in his eyes, If Jason wasn’t chasing after him something must have been wrong.

He tried his best to put his fear away but they were getting to him as he neared closer to the warehouse. It was as his body and mind knew but his heart was telling him it wasn’t too late. Tears gathered in his eyes at the thoughts swirling through his mind.

Why did you go alone, Jason? I should have stayed and gone with you. Please be okay. I’ll get to you in time, I promise. Run, run, run! Faster, Bruce!

The time seemed to be going slower than normal as he ran. He felt as if the sand was pulling him down, dragging him into the dirt. Oh god, how Bruce wished he would have stayed.

The ground shook underneath him as a loud Boom went off. 

He felt as if his world had just crumbled. He stayed still for a moment before running again, he saw the orange glimmer in the distance which only fueled his fears.

Maybe he made it out…

As he neared closer he saw it, ash and debris rained down all around. The warehouse that once stood tall was now crumbling.

He stood motionless for a moment, his heart dropped to his stomach, vomit rising in his throat but he swallowed it. His thoughts were buzzing around frantically and before he could even register it he was running towards the fire.

Oh, god…oh, god no, please…

Bruce didn’t care how hot it was around him. Jason was nowhere in sight so that meant he was in there somewhere. He felt the exposed part of his face burning but he paid no mind, the pain was worth it if he found Jason.

“Jason! Where are you!?” He called out, his voice hard but broken full of sadness and worry. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t crack.

With all his strength he pulled pieces of the building away, throwing it wherever not caring where it landed making a path to find his son.

His feet sink through the fallen building, his suit slowly melting away at the hotness of the exploded building. He pushed a small piece of wood out of the way and saw Sheila, Jason’s real mother.

He wanted to forget about her and find his son but he stopped and asked her about Jason and what happened. She died soon after, he felt remorse but Jason was his main priority.

He continued pulling debris away and that’s when he spotted the small dark haired boy. His body was burned, bleeding, bruised and mangled. A sob racked through Bruce’s body, he couldn’t bear to see his son like this.

He pushed himself to continue moving. His mind told him Jason was dead but his heart yearned to feel Jason’s heartbeat even if it was just a low weak thump it would mean he was alive.

Jason’s costume had holes throughout it and it was covered in blood. He so badly wanted to look away but he was hoping for a miracle.

Slowly he reached out placing two fingered on Jason’s right wrist feeling for a pulse but he couldn’t find one, Jason was already getting cold even though the fire was an Inferno.

Sobs racked through Bruce’s body as he softly cradled his dead son, Jason Peter Todd to his chest. To an onlooker, it looked as if it was just Batman holding a wounded Robin but it was more than that. This was his son, it was his fault he was in this mess anyways.

“I’m so sorry, Jason,” he cried out pulling the dead robin closer. Tears rolled down his face and onto Jason. Bruce couldn’t look at him.

“If I was just a little bit sooner…” his voice cracked as a pain so deep it became physical courses through him, it was like his heart had been ripped out and he was dying.

It caused him too much pain to even hold the small boy in his arms but he did because he was taking his son home where he belonged.

If only he could see Jason in the cave cracking jokes with him or at bad guys one more time. If only he could see him alive again.

Maybe if Bruce was just a little sooner than maybe Jason would have been saved.

Just maybe.


	3. There are just too many maybes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alfred hears the news about Jason and breaks down.

ason Todd is dead.

Alfred couldn’t comprehend the words that had come from Bruce’s mouth. A chill was sent up his spine. He felt like he was in some sort of nightmare. He wasn’t a stranger to these types of nightmares, one of his family members dying but dear god this was real.

He sat in the chair almost stone-like. His emotions had yet to show them self but soon they would. His hands twitched before they began to shake.

Alfred was enraged, he wanted to curse, scream, break things that weren’t supposed to be broken. Alfred was heartbroken. The young Jason Todd has only been with them for a few years but he was a bright child meant for great things.

That clown will pay for what he’s done!

He wanted to find that damned clown himself and beat him until he died. If Alfred could only get his hands on the clown he would terrorize no more.

Alfred finally let himself slouch in the Batcave chair making sure to mute his communication with Bruce before bringing his hands to his face and letting out a sorrowful yell in agony. His was in emotional and physical pain, Jason was his grandchild.

Was

That word haunted him, was, Jason was his grandchild as it not anymore but once upon a time he was. He let himself cave into his emotions and sobs shook his entire body echoing throughout the cave. He couldn’t hold it in, he had tried but he just couldn’t.

He slammed his hands against the seat that sat in front of him, shaking it violently. He was good at masking his anger but he couldn’t this time, it was impossible.

He grabbed his handkerchief out of his breast pocket and dabbing it against his eyes trying to get rid of any evidence of the break down that just occurred. The tracker on the batplane told him that soon Bruce would be pulling up and he needed to be strong for him.

As much as he tried he couldn’t get the puffiness around his eyes to go down. As much as he tried he couldn’t really stop crying, inside he felt as if he was dying.

He remembered how Bruce was with his parents. Now Bruce has lost yet another person close to him but this time it was his son. Alfred could only imagine how he’d act.

The batplane pulled into the Batcave before it shut off and off stormed a very disheveled Bruce Wayne. Alfred pulled him into a hug but Bruce didn’t hug back. Alfred couldn’t blame him. He looked almost zombie-like, his eyes held a sorrow so deep it was unnerving, he didn’t look the same as when he had left.

When Alfred let go Bruce stormed upstairs not caring to take off the bat suit that was stained in Jason’s blood. Alfred could see the Robin mask held tightly but carefully in his hand. He knew Bruce need time.

He’s on that plane dead…

Jason Todd is dead.

Alfred had already planned everything, the custom coffin etc. but he knew he would have to be the one to prepare Jason for that casket. No outside person was to know about how he really died.

Alfred stood there for a few minutes, debating with himself. His heart ached in his chest to see Jason alive and back to normal, to have the boy cracking jokes and being stubborn. He wished Jason had listened to Bruce this time.

Slowly he made his way up the aircraft, time was slow as he dreaded what he was yet to see. Bruce hadn’t said anything about how he looked only how he died but Alfred could imagine.

He clasped his right hand over his mouth, tears sprung into his eyes as the sight in front of him unfolded. There laid Jason Peter Todd in a burned and tattered Robin outfit. His body was littered with cuts, bruises, burns, and dried blood. He could barely recognize the young body.

It took everything in him not to turn away and run. It was too painful, he had just seen him only days ago, happy and full of life. Waterfall-like tears fell from Alfred’s eyes as he continued to examine the young boy. His face was swollen and his body was twisted and mangled in unnatural ways.

Jason’s lips and body was a turning a sickening blue. This wasn’t the first time Alfred had seen death but this time it was his worst nightmare that came true, it was his grandchild.

Sobs racked through his body as he looked over him. He grabbed his cold and stiff hand leaning down and pressing his forehead against his cold and let his tears fall freely.

Jason Todd is dead.

He couldn’t help it and grabbed the small boy cradling him to his chest. He never wanted to let him go, he wanted to be jolted awake from the nightmare and wake up and cook for the boy only to come to the cave to find him already awake and excited to be for a day as Robin.

Slowly he let go of Jason’s cold body and wiped his eyes. He had to be strong for Bruce now. “I’m sorry Master Todd, I’m so sorry,” he said to the dead body of the robin in front of him.

If I’ve only done more.

Robin is dead!

Maybe if Bruce was just a little sooner than maybe Jason would have been saved.

No, maybe If Alfred had raised Bruce differently this wouldn’t have been Jason’s fate.

Everything was just maybe, but no, the world is cruel and this was Jason’s fate. Bruce was too late and Alfred had raised Bruce this way, this is the way things were.

Jason Peter Todd is dead…and some pieces of his family died along with him.


	4. The Fallen Robin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick Grayson Finally finds out Jason Todd, the second Robin is dead

Bruce didn’t even bother telling me.

Dicks fist connected to the wall in front of him. The hole in the wall looked and felt like the hole in Dicks’ chest, empty. He was feeling all types of emotions, rage, confusion, and sadness. 

I never got to be his brother!

Another loud bang was heard as his hand yet again went into the wall. The cane he was using to support himself slipped out of his hand making him fall.

He couldn’t bring himself to get back up, he felt horrible. He rose his hands to rest on his face, he had already broken down in front of his team but now he was alone. A dark cloud rested upon his head as he thought about Bruce, Jason, and the Joker.

He blamed Bruce for letting Jason go out as Robin at such a young age. He blamed Bruce for not telling him Jason died. He blamed Bruce for not killing the Joker. He blamed Bruce for lots of things.

He blamed himself.

I should have been there!

A broken yell was heard from him as he sat there, tears already flowing. The pain he felt in his chest was excruciating. He didn’t want to believe this, his little brother couldn’t be dead. But Jason was dead, he was buried six feet under the ground now. 

He hadn’t got to do anything with Jason. He hadn’t got to love Jason like a brother, be there for Jason. He rarely talked to Jason. He didn’t have a chance to be there for his little brother and that was killed him inside.

Dick clutched his chest in pain letting out about wail. He didn’t even get to say goodbye to the small boy. Jason hadn’t even had the chance to live.

I need to see them. I need to see him.

He wanted to rush to the Manor as right away. He wanted to know everything that happened, when it happened and where. He knew if he got there in this state a fight with his adopted Dad would break out. 

How could no one bother to tell me?!

This time his hand struck the floor. A searing pain he could tell it was broken but he didn’t care. He wanted Jason back. He wanted to joke with him, talk to him, go out as Nightwing with him.

Sobs shook through him. He just wanted to go back and help Jason. He didn’t even know how he died or when and that hurt him the most. He wasn’t there.

He called Alfred as soon as he could. What he heard almost made his heart stop. He felt sick to his stomach as bile rose in his throat.

Please let this all be a dream, please!

He begged silently grabbing a fistful of hair and tugging at it harshly. He couldn’t hold it together, he didn’t want to. He wanted to be in that grave replacing Jason.

I should have stayed robin and this wouldn’t have happened.

Dick wanted to scream and hit stuff but he couldn’t bring himself to move as he completely shut down staring at the dark ceiling above him. This wasn’t a nightmare this was real, all of it.

Jason is dead, Robin is dead.

Everything was dark, his life, Bruce’s life, Alfred’s life, Jason’s life. They couldn’t escape it. It had caught up with Jason first. The last time he saw Jason just kept replaying over and over in his head, haunting him.

Maybe if Dick had stayed Robin.

Maybe if Bruce was a little sooner.

Maybe if Alfred raised Bruce differently. 

Then maybe Jason would still be alive and happy. Them maybe Jason’s fate would have been different.

Just maybe.


End file.
